Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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