i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
