i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
