He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize