Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
