what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
