Porn is love you can see.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you would pick up someone in the library
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
