I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
