I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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