also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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