quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize