he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
