Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
