We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
