At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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