So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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