He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
