We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
