If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
