why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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