STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
