I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
