yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
