Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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