Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
