hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my being single is dangerous.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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