I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
