im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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