i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
