I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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