She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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