just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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