yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize