I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
