I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
