we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm really busy with my period
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