Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
