at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
