You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He passed out mid-signature
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
