I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
