i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
