I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Enjoy the penises
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
These tits shall not be calmed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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