Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
