dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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