Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
