for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
