I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
