Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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