I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
