My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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