As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
