What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
