I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
