Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
