okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
