What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
