Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
