Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
