Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
