I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
